Here is a link to the real Beyond The Implode who we like a lot more than "Not the real BEYOND THE IMPLODE". Who appears to have some issues with their still being alive.

Friday, January 27, 2006 [Article retained for posterity]



As you know, blogging has become a SERIOUS BUSINESS. What may have begun as a handful of amateurs like BLISSBLOG and ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK, messing around posting poems about ACID HOUSE, has now become a multi-billion dollar industry - an industry set to BOOM as bloggers around the world (except in China) board the gravy train to PROFESSIONAL DOODLEVILLE.

Beyond the Implode recognises the need to move with the times, and to expand its cache of eye-screen interfacing clients. And so, the blog has signed an agreement with CINESTATIC, creating a new host site, in order to fend off hostile takeover bids from 'spam cunts' CASINO WEB

A spokesperson for Cinestatic has commented, "The presence of BEYOND THE IMPLODE will add some much-needed theoretical clout to our online portfolio, in comparison to some of our more frivolous blogs, like INFINITE FRIPPERY and EFFAY CUP".


"I am delighted to be working with Cinestatic, having followed its development since 1999, and have noted with great interest the synergies between us. This success won't go to my head."


Some may call it "a bold new era" for the blogosphere. But what does the BTi (TM) - Cinestatic merger REALLY mean? To provide its readers with a more DYNAMIC and exciting service, it means

* Extra comment box moderation facilities - enabling swift and efficient deletion of all but the most sycophantic of comments

* Less mentions of sex and swearing - unfortunately, Cinestatic is read by a few 'women' and, as we all know, these sacred apes of Benares don't appreciate vulgarity and mention of 'chicks' - unless we're talking apparat chicks of course!

* More in-depth analysis at a rational level


Actually, it means everyone has to change their links for the 4th time in 20 months. Or don't bother. It'll be here from now on, apparently

Unless they kick me out for calling Marx a wanker, in which case I'll see you all back here.

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