26 November 2004
THE PAIN!
Spent the past few days in a swirling mulch of pain, dreams and analgesics....not entirely unpleasant, although the pain is really too much to bear sometimes (though what does this mean? It's not like I stop existing when it gets too much). Some hideous dreams; hospital food morphing into babies that I'm supposed to take care of; searching for days and days for some drowned body in an infinite swimming pool; dark creatures trying to pull my ear away from my head (oh wait, that already happened). Can't concentrate on any work, despite deadline pressures...
Still, managed to leave Infinite Thought towers briefly last night to attend a paper at the Leningrad University of post-Adornian boy-misery on Schlegel and the Re-enchantment of Nature. Was very scholarly, but all those mystical arguments about the ineffability of the absolute and vegetal poetising just don't do it for me. Either infinity is mathematisable in a secular context or we should dispense with it altogether, surely....
Does anyone have any SAS-type tactics for the psychic destruction of pain? At around 3am this morning I tried visualising it as a biscuit which I then virtually consumed, but the illusory dispersal of the agony meant that it soon came back with a vengeance.
Still, managed to leave Infinite Thought towers briefly last night to attend a paper at the Leningrad University of post-Adornian boy-misery on Schlegel and the Re-enchantment of Nature. Was very scholarly, but all those mystical arguments about the ineffability of the absolute and vegetal poetising just don't do it for me. Either infinity is mathematisable in a secular context or we should dispense with it altogether, surely....
Does anyone have any SAS-type tactics for the psychic destruction of pain? At around 3am this morning I tried visualising it as a biscuit which I then virtually consumed, but the illusory dispersal of the agony meant that it soon came back with a vengeance.
