sweet effay

Great news for liberals everywhere, as the British Navy recruits its first Satanist sailor. It is particularly nice of them to let Chris Cranmer perform rituals on board ship, although I should point out that as he gets his inspiration from Lavey's Satanic Bible, he probably won't be bringing any goats or babies along to see him through the voyage. The book in question (yes I have read it, but I borrowed it from someone else, honest!) Is just a pathetic attempt to justify a life of indulgence by grafting on some pseudo-mysticism and a bit of added anti-Christian naughtiness. Yep, you guessed it: The Church of Satan is basically just a bunch of hippies dressed in black. The Neo-Nazi, Satan worshipping, serial killer obsessed psychotic who lent me his copy of The Satanic Bible was deeply unimpressed with them; as were they with him when he got in touch (he had some theory about turning the rank and file into proper Satanists). Consequently my guess is that Cranmer's 'rituals' will consist of trying to convince Wrens to get their kit off.

Still Satanic naval technicians should hardly come as a shock because, as any fule kno, the true rulers of the world are all Satanists anyway.

Posted by: johneffay / 11:45 AM

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There was a great piece about this on the West Country News last night that had me crying with laughter as an indignant (daily mail-reading) ex-sailor turned vicar spluttered in dismay at this terrible turn of events: I mean, it's okay to train sailors to kill people but (god forbid) the navy should recruit satanists...

[ kek-w 27/10/2004 04:32:02 :: web]

You can see the vicar's point though: He's simply protecting his turf. After all, if during a battle, Cranmer opens a gate to Hell and summons a hoard of slavering demon allies who snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, the pews of naval chapels are going to be rather empty come Sunday.

[ johneffay 27/10/2004 15:19:04 :: web]

Hmm. Good point. You know, I hadn't even considered that.

[ kek-w 31/10/2004 04:37:44 :: web]

In future, it would be best if your pointless meandering was based on a topic you knew something about. Bearing in mind your lack of perspective about Satanism, you still seem to consider yourself an authority. You may have read The Satanic Bible, but you've not understood it.

A bit like reading a French novel, actually.

[ Chris Cranmer 21/11/2006 06:17:56 :: web]

Chris, fantastic to hear from you!

Unhappily for your argument, I do know a fair amount about the Church of Satan and occultism in general. Both tend to attract social inadequates who think they are somehow 'special' but who really just band together and indulge in an orgy of backbiting and recrimination (see the schisms within your own church). My lack of perspective comes from the conviction that such people deserve to have the piss taken out of them.

If The Satanic Bible is a French novel, it is a singularly bad one presenting dumbed down versions of Crowley and Ayn Rand (who would have thought you could dumb down the latter!) for people who do not have the patience or application to read the originals.

[ johneffay 21/11/2006 13:27:14 :: web]

Care to comment?