sweet effay

This is undoubtedly old news to all those who have their fingers on the pulse of the comics universe but, hot on the heels of Loki's and Psychbloke’s revelations about the Wachowski’s plan to make a movie version of V for Vendetta, I have just discovered that a film has already been made based upon another Alan Moore creation: John Constantine, who originally appeared in Swamp Thing before getting his own comic, Hellblazer. So who was cast in the role of everybody’s favourite Scouse occult detective?

The omens are not good, are they? It’s hard to see Keannu’s particular brand of one-dimensional acting being able to pull off a convincing portrayal of a Scallie who presents a hard as nails exterior to the world, but who is actually riddled with guilt and insecurities “Whoa!!!! Demon, Dude!!!! Let’s rock!!!!!” Nope, doesn’t do it for me somehow.

I notice from the photographs that Constantine’s love affair with cigarettes (but probably not fags; let’s not confuse the American audience) remains intact. However, I wonder which brand he will be promoting in the film? My money is on Marlboro, as they are very skilled at product placement. However, as any fule kno, Constantine smokes Silk Cut; something which I always thought was integral to the deliberate puncturing of his projected image as a tough guy (yes, I know he smoked roll-ups when hanging out with the New Age Travellers). He also tends to get upstaged by the women in his life, who wants to bet whether or not it will happen here?

Coming next (and, yes, I know I keep promising things which I never deliver, but this really is going to happen): H.P. Lovecraft – He ain’t so cool.